He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
