I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
