And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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