It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
