I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
