Betty ford says i'm here all night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
two words: eviction party
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
