Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
