I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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