When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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