drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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