How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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