Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
