Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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