Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
