I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
