dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My hand turned me down
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
