that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
