Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
