I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
