Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
