dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
