I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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