He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
