Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
