I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
