how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
