awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
