just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he's single and there are thong briefs.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize