Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
