I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
