How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Can Purell be used as lube?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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