Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
