dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
