She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
