3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
