I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The ass gains better be worth it
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