i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
