Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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