Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
