So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
