Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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