"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
