Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
