I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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