Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
