If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
