theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
