I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He passed out mid-signature
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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