Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
