It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
