pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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