It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
