True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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