it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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