i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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