I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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