That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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