the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
