i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
operation have a gay friend backfired
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
